By: Tim Sader
Wives do not have authority over their body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, husbands do not have authority over their body but yields it to his wife. (1 Corinthians 7:4)
When the wedding was over the house hadn’t sold yet so we had to part ways for a while again. This was the hardest time we ever spent apart it was only a day and a half before we made a way to be together more until we could find a house. In this life we go through hardships and in them we can grow closer to God because He is there with us. After ten days together again Sammy had to check in on things in her part of the world so she wouldn’t lose her benefits or help. Her sister-in-law met us at Lowes in Columbia because she was seperated and her husband worked there so she’d drop his son off and pick Sammy up there. Three days later when Laura came back to get her son Sammy hitched a ride again and we picked her up at the Waffle House. After the first ten days in York Sammy and me had worked out a bit of a rutine so it was slightly easier because she knew what to expect. When she came to visit we slept in the guest room, she brought her shower/potty chair for bathroom and washing. We got a hoyer lift to pick her up if my mom needed it to transfer Sammy and our friend Janet also helped mostly in morning and at bed time. Sammy is not big on restaurants, food is just not her thing but we mainly ate out since it was just mom and me. We did a lot of takeout food when Sammy came to visit and she suffered through a few meals with me at my favorite places. Mom cooked a few nice meals though and we did most breakfasts and lunch at home with leftovers and quick meal options. We had many visitors when she was there people who wanted to get to know Sammy and hang out before we moved. We really connected with our friends Bobby and Ashley during these trips. Some of our best moments together were shared with this other couple we truly enjoyed our moments with them and Lila their little girl just loved Sammy. Our first alone date without a care giver was with them; we went for pizza and had good conversation. The first trip in May lasted five days not long enough but more days together. That time we made it eight days apart, felt like the longest time ever before we were together for six more days.
These moments at my old house when Sammy was able to stay with me I think we were learning many things about being married. When dating someone we learn all the ways we are alike but after marriage when two people live together we start to see how we are different. In something I read it said some of the biggest disagreements in a new marriage are over control of the thermostat and the television. This would be true for us because I like it warmer than Sammy and she is hot most of the time. She is able to use TV controls better than I can so that one was resolved by default. Lucky for me we like a lot of the same shows and if I want to watch something she’ll play it for me. As far as the thermostat goes it stays just about cool enough for her and I use a blanket and or a heater depending on the season. Wives and husbands no longer only belong to themselves they have someone else’s interests to put before their own. A few months back at Ashley Ridge Church we did a series by Andy Stanley called What Happy Couples Know. In it he says, “Marriage is a submission competition.” It’s not about what they have or haven’t done for us it’s about laying down our agenda and putting them first. Husbands should have confidence in their wife and the good value she brings into his life (Pr 31:11-12). Many women do many great things but our own wives should surpass those things in our in our eyes. We should honor her with praises and words of encouragement (Pr 31:29). The Lord, our Holy One, God of all the earth is like a husband to us all. He calls us back to Him if we are distressed and troubled He will not reject us. We maybe apart for a moment but His compassion will bring us together again (Is 54:5-7). The love I share with Sammy makes me want to put her first which is difficult because shes always putting my needs before her own. Our love also makes it difficult to be less than five feet apart or we miss one another so after marriage we were never apart long.
Lord I ask that our relationships with others would bring you glory so that they see an example of you in it. Help us to stop tring to control everything but to turn control over to you so that we can properly learn to love. Help us to submit our agenda and put first whoever it is we are in relationship with. Show us it’s not about what we get out of it as it is about what we put into our relationships to help them grow. Give us kind words and deeds to speak and do so we can be an encouragement to significant others. Lord thank you for being a husband to us, always beckoning us back to you and for never turning your back on us. In Jesus name, Amen.
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No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16