By: Tim Sader
The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” (Song of Songs 3:3)
In July Sammy and I were able to spend about five days together at her house while her dad was out of town. We didn’t do much on this trip except have quality time because it was so hot out. The world says that sex is love but we know this is not true because our love is very strong and it’s not about what we can do between the sheets. Love is providing for each others needs and protecting one another from harm. There are a few opinions when two disabled people date. One is that it’s cute and others feel it’s gross and makes no sense. Even in the disabled community it is uncommon because if one person is fully able it helps in so many obvious ways. Sammy wasn’t looking for someone in a chair and I had never been in a relationship with anyone disabled. For so long we listened to the notion of others but after meeting there was no way for us to deny our feelings. We wouldn’t listen to the voices so after our July trip I got busy looking for a ring and planning our engagement. I thought about a flash mob, showing up at her church on a random Sunday or taking her to MDA camp to show the kids dreams come true. None of these seemed original to me then I remembered when I surprised her for a concert at Coastal Coffee Roasters. Somehow I knew I wanted to drop the magic of surprise in the same place again but had to figure out how to get her there. At the beginning of August I decided I wanted to plan a day for her without me so I contacted her friend Kim because I knew she took Sammy out sometimes. I told her my thoughts and we brainstormed. I wanted to send them to lunch where their food mysteriously got payed for. I wanted them to watch a movie about owls together or just hang out and then end up at the coffee shop. Come to find out Kim knows the owner and had some paperwork to give him so that would get them to Coastal.
After getting her beautiful aquamarine and diamond ring what I was about to do started to set in and I was getting excited. After Kim helped me figure out a date and time I wanted to share this memory with Sammy’s close friends and family. This was a special day for everyone in her life because they didn’t know if it would ever happen. When the day arrived I had to leave home and travel four hours while she had her day with Kim. I had to watch the time so I got there before everyone to set things up. The flowers were delivered to the coffee shop so that was a big helped. My friends Bobby and Ashley met me there so they could take pictures and a video of the proposal. They helped me not feel nervous or jittery while we waited for everyone to show up. I wrote out the proposal on a card and leaned it against the bouquet of girbber daisies with the ring box underneath. After what seemed to be a long wait her van finally pulled up. I was hoping Sammy would dressed up that day because I asked a news reporter to come and do a story about us. I was excited and wanted to share my happiness with others. That day started with lunch but instead of the movie they had a salon day and shopping to get Sammy a nicer blouse. When they got there Kim had to help change the shirt in the van which felt weird to Sam because she never helped like that before. Finally the moment arrived, the door began to open and she rolled in. She said, “Timmy what are you doing here and why are all these people here?” I told her to come over to the table because I had something for her. When she pulled up at the table she read the note and when she finished I said so will you marry me? She said yes then we drank some wine to celebrate while waiting for the reporter who missed the proposal. Luckily we had a recording so she used some of it in her news piece. After our surprise interview we hung out with family and friends until we went to Sammy’s dads house for dinner.
Lord I ask that when the watchmen find us that they would see our life is about loving you and doing your will. The watchers may have ideas and think that we are being silly with the decisions we make. It is not a matter about how things look. It is about sticking to our ideals and going where God leads. Help us to do this better God. Help us to stop following the crowd so we can fit in because you have called us to stand out. In Jesus name, Amen.
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No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16