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Monthly Archives: March 2018

Tuesdays Torch week 477

Tuesday’s Torch

03/27/18

By: Tim Sader

The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. (Matthew 22:2)

At the beginning of August I popped the question at the coffee shop where I surprised her one time before. After she said yes we only were able to spend a few short days together before I had to go home and get ready for a family retreat mom and I signed up for many months sooner. We felt jipped that our time together after such a milestone had to be cut short with these prior obligations. Joni and Friends family retreat was quite an experience for us, we had some fun but I was mostly missing my new fiancé and I told everyone about her. Just a few weeks after coming home from camp I made plans for to go see Sammy again. I made reservations at Intown Suites where we paid for an entire week. This trip was mostly for pleasure but we also wanted to get a head start on wedding plans by finding a venue and scheduling a caterer. When I first got into town mom and I checked in at our hotel then went to Sammy and her dad’s house for dinner. That night we had spaghetti dinner with her family and hung out in her bedroom until we had to go back to the hotel that night. The next day we hung out more in Sammy’s room holding hands and cuddling up to watch Dawsons Creek. Sometime that day her phone case broke so that evening we went to Verizon to find a new one. After that we went to a Japanese Steakhouse where we sat at the hibachi grill and watched them make it live. We dropped Sammy off at home after that and went back to the hotel to get sleep before church in the morning. We got up early, ate a few bites then went to Sammy’s and followed them to church. When we got out we went back to her house and had leftover spaghetti for lunch followed by more Dawson until dinner. We all ate Bojangles chicken and sides that night and enjoyed family time at the table. That Monday we started with the wedding planning; we looked up some caterers and set up a call back for the following day. The rest of the day we watched more Dawsons Creek and had Zaxbys for dinner. On Tuesday I wrote the Torch in Sammy’s room and the caterer called, they quoted us 2 to 3 thousand dollars. That night Sammy’s dad made a beef roast with gravey, corn and potatoes. The next day it was rainy so we had a couple meals at home and finally finished the Dawsons Creek marathon that seemed to last forever.

On our last 2 days together we had to get busy with preparations for the wedding we were planning for the following spring. Thursday after lunch at Oscars we went to the military base to check out a venue called the Redbank Club. They had different prices and packages to accommodate various weddings. It was like 5 thousand dollars for what we wanted but that didn’t include food. Before going there we tried the Shriners Club twice but it was closed. They called us later so the next day after eating at Ryan’s we went out to it again at 3 p.m. In the bible it says the kingdom of heaven is like a king preparing a wedding for his son. When preparing for a wedding if money was no obstacle most people would want it to be the best of everything. The kingdom of heaven is the best of everything. Those who choose Christ are blessed to inherit the kingdom prepared for them from the beginning (Mt. 25:34). Christ said there are many rooms in the Fathers house and He was going to prepare it for us. When He’s through He will come back again so we can go with Him again to that place. By Him is the way we get there (Jn. 14:2-4). We cannot see, hear or conceive what God has prepared for us who love Him (1 Cor. 2:9). God is good to all mankind so there is no limit to the love he shows His loved ones. We are the handiwork of God, created in Christ to do the good works He prepared for us to do (Eph. 2:10). Both places we looked at were nice and would work for us but inspite of or best preparations something better was in the works for our perfect wedding.

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Lord I ask that we would be busy doing the good works you prepared for us to do. There is no limit to your love for us God so help us to not put limits on you because of our unbelief. Lord we know that you already have the best of everything so help us to live our lives so that we are worthy to inherit everything your son prepared for us when He went away. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

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Posted by on 03/27/2018 in Torches

 

Tuesdays Torch week 476

Tuesday’s Torch

03/20/18

By: Tim Sader 

The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. “Have you seen the one my heart loves?” (Song of Songs 3:3)

In July Sammy and I were able to spend about five days together at her house while her dad was out of town. We didn’t do much on this trip except have quality time because it was so hot out. The world says that sex is love but we know this is not true because our love is very strong and it’s not about what we can do between the sheets. Love is providing for each others needs and protecting one another from harm. There are a few opinions when two disabled people date. One is that it’s cute and others feel it’s gross and makes no sense. Even in the disabled community it is uncommon because if one person is fully able it helps in so many obvious ways. Sammy wasn’t looking for someone in a chair and I had never been in a relationship with anyone disabled. For so long we listened to the notion of others but after meeting there was no way for us to deny our feelings. We wouldn’t listen to the voices so after our July trip I got busy looking for a ring and planning our engagement. I thought about a flash mob, showing up at her church on a random Sunday or taking her to MDA camp to show the kids dreams come true. None of these seemed original to me then I remembered when I surprised her for a concert at Coastal Coffee Roasters. Somehow I knew I wanted to drop the magic of surprise in the same place again but had to figure out how to get her there. At the beginning of August I decided I wanted to plan a day for her without me so I contacted her friend Kim because I knew she took Sammy out sometimes. I told her my thoughts and we brainstormed. I wanted to send them to lunch where their food mysteriously got payed for. I wanted them to watch a movie about owls together or just hang out and then end up at the coffee shop. Come to find out Kim knows the owner and had some paperwork to give him so that would get them to Coastal.

After getting her beautiful aquamarine and diamond ring what I was about to do started to set in and I was getting excited. After Kim helped me figure out a date and time I wanted to share this memory with Sammy’s close friends and family. This was a special day for everyone in her life because they didn’t know if it would ever happen. When the day arrived I had to leave home and travel four hours while she had her day with Kim. I had to watch the time so I got there before everyone to set things up. The flowers were delivered to the coffee shop so that was a big helped. My friends Bobby and Ashley met me there so they could take pictures and a video of the proposal. They helped me not feel nervous or jittery while we waited for everyone to show up. I wrote out the proposal on a card and leaned it against the bouquet of girbber daisies with the ring box underneath. After what seemed to be a long wait her van finally pulled up. I was hoping Sammy would dressed up that day because I asked a news reporter to come and do a story about us. I was excited and wanted to share my happiness with others. That day started with lunch but instead of the movie they had a salon day and shopping to get Sammy a nicer blouse. When they got there Kim had to help change the shirt in the van which felt weird to Sam because she never helped like that before. Finally the moment arrived, the door began to open and she rolled in. She said, “Timmy what are you doing here and why are all these people here?” I told her to come over to the table because I had something for her. When she pulled up at the table she read the note and when she finished I said so will you marry me? She said yes then we drank some wine to celebrate while waiting for the reporter who missed the proposal. Luckily we had a recording so she used some of it in her news piece. After our surprise interview we hung out with family and friends until we went to Sammy’s dads house for dinner.

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Lord I ask that when the watchmen find us that they would see our life is about loving you and doing your will. The watchers may have ideas and think that we are being silly with the decisions we make. It is not a matter about how things look. It is about sticking to our ideals and going where God leads. Help us to do this better God. Help us to stop following the crowd so we can fit in because you have called us to stand out. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

 
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Posted by on 03/20/2018 in Torches

 

Tuesdays Torch week 475

Tuesday’s Torch

03/13/18

By: Tim Sader

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. (Proverbs 15:31)

Sammy and I had a day date at the beginning of the month and a whole week together later in June. One day that week we spent the day in downtown Charleston eating lunch and going to the museum. With more quality time together we were able to confront the difficult aspects of relationship and disability but we also learned that love is enough overcome our fears. In July there was no day date in Columbia but later in the month Sammy’s dad and Darlene had to go to Pennsylvania and she needed someone to stay with her. Again this was a great opportunity for us to be together in a month where there wasn’t any funding for a hotel. We got to Summerville a few hours after her dad left for the trip. We didn’t have much planned this time; we enjoy going out but sometimes it was nice to have time together alone inside the house. Sammy gets hot easily so in the July she would rather be cool at home than out somewhere getting overheated. We are funny because she hates the heat and I can’t stand being cold so one of us or the other is usually uncomfortable. Couples with this difference know it is no small hurdle to jump in a relationship. We have found ways to make inside work for us meaning we keep the temperature as high as she can handle and I use a space heater and a blanket. I am one of those people who is under a blanket in summer when it’s 100 degrees out because the A/C inside is cold. So yeah whenever I would visit I was always under my blanket so we could have July time inside. I don’t remember a lot about this trip except one day we had pizza and when no one was in the room her dog knocked it off the table and ate the rest of it. For entertainment we sat around watching our Dawsons Creek marathon while holding hands and sitting close to each other aka wheelchair cuddling. At night we got to lay close in bed for real cuddles a couple nights while I was there so that was nice. Falling asleep and night cuddles is our closest intimate time, often it is the best time of day for both of us. Looking back this trip seemed uneventful but we were wise to do life together and learning about each other was an important milestone in building our relationship.

I don’t know how to say this without saying it so I’m just going to go there. Sammy and I chose not to have sexual contact until we were married or very close to it. That being said sexual contact is very limited with both of us being disabled the way we are. Most people would say there is no real sex happening and they would mostly be right. Even without that our love for one another has been described as much deeper, genuine, inspiring and contagious. One time I heard author Josh McDowell speak about love and he said the world defines love as sex. As I have found out and will go as far as saying is that love has very little if nothing to do with sex. Sometimes we express our love for a spouse with sexual acts but all sex is not making love. One of the best things I have learned is that loving someone intimately is a choice not something that happens between the sheets. If sex is the only way a significant other shows their love I wonder if they truly love the other. McDowell went on to say that most people can tell you something about love but cannot define it. In the bible a hint to the definition is husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. If he loves his wife he also loves himself because no one hates their own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church (Ep. 5:28-29). We provide for ourselves mentally, physically, spiritually and relationally. We also cherish ourselves by protecting ourselves from what is harmful. Most simply McDowell said love can be defined in a few words, to provide and protect. To fulfill the law of God we love others like ourselves by providing for their needs and protecting them from harm (Gal. 5:14). By having July time inside we had the opportunity to see each other’s needs and what providing them looks like. Our physical needs are provided by others but still we protect by seeing those needs are properly met by them. In times like these we learned to provide and protect; we learned to love.

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Lord I ask that we will be at home among the wise help us to heed their life giving instructions to shape our lives in a way that is pleasing to you. That being said help us not to define our love for others using crude acts that may or may not have anything to do with love. Help us to choose love because we want to love them like they are our own body. We ask that you would help us to properly provide and protect for everyone who our lives come into contact with. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

 
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Posted by on 03/13/2018 in Torches

 

Tuesdays Torch week 474

Tuesday’s Torch

03/06/18

By: Tim Sader

Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:14)

With her sister going out of town for six days Sammy and I were able to borrow the house so we could see eachother. While we were there we went to the beach one day where I was reminded of how much greater God is than our biggest problems. In June we started the month with a date in Columbia where we had food at Zoe’s Kitchen and saw a movie The Fault in Our Stars. It was about two teens who were battling cancer falling in love and one of them checks out of life rather unexpectedly. It was sad in an obvious way but it was also beautiful because they were able to fall in love and enjoy what little time they had. It felt a lot like our situation with eachother and helped us confront some of the rather unfortunate aspects of our disabilities. At the end of the day being happy and inlove for a while is better than not loving because of fearing the unknown. God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline (2 Tim. 1:7). A movie date wasn’t enough for us to last the whole month. While looking online I found a pay by the week hotel that was about the same price as only four or five days at a regular hotel so I made a reservation. It was exciting getting to spend another full week with my love so much that she was in my dreams again. After check in at the hotel we went to Sammy’s house where she was hanging out by the pool with her nephew Zachary. That night he went with us to meet Amanda and Alicia at The Icehouse for dinner on the patio. It was good as it always is and after dinner we brought Sammy back home and headed back hotel. We had to be up early and head to downtown Charleston with Sammy, her sister and Alicia. After getting parked we made our way down a bumpy brick alley way in our wheelchairs and went to Rue de Jean for lunch. The food was good than we went a few blocks away to The Charleston Museum where I learned a lot about the history in this area. After driving around Battery Park and seeing the beautiful old houses Sammy and I went to the hotel. We finished the day with Bojangles and watched Meet the Fockers before bringing her back home.

That Sunday we went to church and learned to be careful what we ask for than we had a cook out with family. After that we watched a couple Fast and Furious movies and went for icecream at Ye Ole Fashioned that evening. For some time I had been thinking of talking to Sammy’s dad about buying her an engagement ring and when we got back he was outside at his boat. I was slightly afraid of her dad because he is quiet but Sammy said didn’t I need to talk to him so I had to face my fear. I told him that I loved his daughter and wanted to spend my life with her and asked if he’d be okay with me buying her a ring. He said it would be fine and warned me that it would be hard for us to make it work but I could give it a shot. I had no idea when or how I would get the ring and how to pop the question but I knew I wanted to and now I could. The rest of the week after that was pretty laid back, we continued our Dawsons Creek marathon and had Chineese, Chick-fil-A, Pizza Hut and some other meals made at home. On Thursday that week Sammy and her aide went with us to Ryan’s for lunch and afterwards Sammy brought me to meet her mommy at the cemetery. I told her I wanted to marry her daughter, I love her so much and would take great care of her. For the longest time I was afraid to love but after meeting my Samantha I was clothed in love and we still have a perfect harmony together. This is how the Lord wants us to love everytime we chose to do so. We know how much God loves us and we trust His love because He is love. If we live in love we live in God and He lives in us. As we live in God our love grows more so we are not afraid of His judgment but can go to Him with confidence because we choose to live like Christ in the world. This love has no fear because perfect love casts out fear. If we are afraid it is because we don’t want to be punished and we haven’t fully experienced His perfect love (1 John 4:16-18). The love Sammy and I share helped us confront things that are hard and with the Lord on our team our love can overcome many things. After our farewell trademark lunch from Taco Bell we had to part again but that time our future together was starting to feel more certain.

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Lord it is so great how very much you love us. Help us to see that there is a pattern in our relationships and if they are successful we notice that it all comes back to love. Thank you for loving us God and making it so we can love like you. Please perfect your love in us so that we can aproach you with confidence without being afraid of you punishing us. And just like we punish children to train them we only do it because of love that is the only reason God would discipline us. Clothe us in love God so that we may be in perfect harmony with others. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on 03/06/2018 in Torches