By: Tim Sader
You have broken through all his walls and reduced his strongholds to ruins. (Psalm 89:40)
From our first chat Sammy and I knew we had something special, it may not be normal but with the Lord on our team we are able to make it work. Since He is the foundation we are building on we can love one another and others like we should. Starting from first contact we will be continuing our story and together with my wife we will roll into the present. During the two years we were not communicating I lost my brother and kind of gave up on finding a girlfriend for a while. Sammy was busy going to school and trying to become a teacher so she had little time for chasing boys online. I also had some uncertainties about my health when I got down to 105 pounds. I did start seeking a relationship after about a year but was really just going through the motions to pass time and possibly ease some of the emptiness I felt after losing my brother. Sammy had also lost her mom a few years before Joe passed and was very unsure that she’d ever have a relationship or get married. During that time I communicated with a few girls but after an email or two and maybe a couple chats they seemed to fade away. Before losing Joe I had been getting over a previous relationship that went bad and ended too soon I thought at the time. These two losses back to back in a way made me afraid to love anyone because of the pain I went through physically and mentally from losing two of my loved ones. This caused me to build a wall around my heart so no one could get much further than a couple conversations without me hiding behind it and giving up on it until they moved on. I did go on one slightly awkward date when I started getting out of the house and pursuing life again. It didn’t work out because we never discussed taking it to the next level and we had differing schedules. I talked about meeting another girl after that but we also could never match up our schedules and she was scared of my disability. The wall I built had something to do with these relationships not working either. Now I know ultimately they didn’t work because someone very special to me was waiting to send me more questions at just the right time.
On November 19, 2013 I was on eHarmony for another trial weekend and there were essay questions from Sammy. I answered her right away and asked her some questions. She responded with some simple sweet answers. We never sent eHarmony mail because I left my email in the answers to her questions. Shortly after that I got a friend request on Facebook and we started talking on there. Like I said before we had no idea both of us were in wheelchairs so that was a surprise. I had thought about dating another disabled person because we would understand each other but Sammy always thought that would be too much extra stress. I was delighted when I saw Sammy for the first time I could tell she had the ability to light up a room. Her smile was contagious to me and it gave me feelings I had forgotten how to use. I was kind of scared to open up to her but at the same time I was completely helpless and was falling for her. I saw a story of a man whose girlfriend still married him after he suffered a major brain injury. She was sweet and I wanted to find a love like that. When I started talking to Sammy the wall I built around my heart was crumbling quickly. In a similar way the Lord wants to tear down the walls we’ve built around our hearts that still separate us from Him (Is. 25:12). We have been engraved in the palms of His hands. He sees the walls that we’ve built and only He can turn them to dust (Is. 49:16). When we accept the Lord in lives the spirit turns our heart of stone into a heart of flesh. We will be moved by the Spirit to do what is right by following what the Lord commanded us to do (Ez. 36:26-27). Sammy and I believe that the Lord brought us together after many years of prayer and failed relationships. The Lord destroyed the wall I built so that he could bless me with the contagious smile that brought light back into my life.
Lord help us to understand that people come in and out of our lives for many reasons. We have no control when someone walks out on us or if they graduate to heaven. Help us God when hard times come not to put up a wall or let our heart be hardened. Hardship is only for a season but blessings will come if we will let Him turn our walls of negativity into ruins. Lord help us so that your Spirit can create in us a heart of flesh so that we can hear the Lord and properly follow Him. In Jesus name, Amen.
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No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16