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Monthly Archives: January 2018

Tuesdays Torch week 467

Tuesday’s Torch

01/16/18

By: Tim Sader

The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” (Luke 1:28)

Before meeting Sammy I went through a difficult breakup then my brother graduated to heaven and I put up a wall because loving others felt dangerous. Sammy and the Lord after many prayers turned my wall into dust so I could love again. Our relationship I knew would not be the easiest one in the world. We have the same pressures of any relationship but also have disabilities limiting us while we are together. Plus we rely on others to help us so we need them with us during dates. We cannot drive and we lived 200 miles from one another so it was a big deal every time we hung out. Both of us being in wheelchairs made every step more difficult for us but it is all worth it when we achieve our relationship goals. Everything for us is different than a relationship for able bodied people. Our first serious conversation was about not worrying what this will look like and being open to doing things that don’t look normal. Before we got there however all we could do was chat on facebook and eventually talk on the phone. At first we talked every day online and the days we missed talking felt unbearable to us. The first two months between making plans on how to meet I think we talked about everything. I learned her favorite candies are Starbursts, Skittles, Reese’s peanut cups and gummy bears. She likes a lot of the same foods as me; tacos are her favorite and I like them too. We both like pizza, baked mac & cheese, turkey subs, burgers, sushi, cube steak with gravy and mashed potatoes. She likes reading, watching movies and TV series marathons, listing to music, volunteering, hanging out and going to church. We both like all kinds of music; she leans more toward country where I go with rock but we like many of the same songs. The movies I like she likes also and vice versa. Her favorite movie is A Walk to Remember, I like it to but the ending is hard to watch. She was watching Gilmore Girls when we started talking. It is one of her favorites and to her surprise I could tell because her quirkiness and quick wits reminded me of the show. She has many talents that I have loved from the get go. Talents like fast reading, humor, brightening people’s day, giving back rubs and scratches. I can’t seem to get enough of those. We talked about everything but this was just the first layer of the great conversations we would have.

Many people who are facing difficult situations feel like their best days have passed and all the plans they had were ruined. We must not give up on having a desire in our heart to do good things even if they look different than our original plans. Desire turns our darkest night into the light of day (Job 17:11-12). Before I knew Sammy when my brother was alive and I was dating someone else I had my own plans but when it all fell apart I was devestated. After Sammy broke through to my heart I had a new desire and we brought so much light back into each others lives so that we can laugh again. Both of us have had serious health problems in the past but love has done amazing things for us. When we delight in the Lord He will give us our hearts desire (Ps. 37:4). Maybe our trials and ruined plans are an opportunity to desire what the Lord has for us and it will be better than we could have done on our own. The Lord opens His hand and satisfies the desire of all living things (Ps. 145:16). When the angel appeared to Mary he greeted her and called her highly favored of the Lord. At some points in my life I have felt highly favored of the Lord that I felt like His favorite. To my surprise the Heavenly Father has no favorites. We can all be His favorite if we make Him part of our life. He judges or rewards us according to what we do. We should respect and honor Him since this life is temporary (1 Pt. 1:17). Our relationship with God stands out to us as the best thing we can share together. Beside Him Sammy quickly became my favorite thing and none of my other favorites come close to how much I care for her.

Lord help us in the areas of our life that feel anything but normal. Help us to work through our difficulties so that the desires of our heart will match the plans you have for us. We ask that the desires you placed inside of us would fill us with light and chase away the darkness. Lord help us to feel your presence with us and to live a life that is pleasing to you so we can be one of your favorites. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

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Posted by on 01/16/2018 in Torches

 

Tuesdays Torch week 466

Tuesday’s Torch

01/09/18

By: Tim Sader

You have broken through all his walls and reduced his strongholds to ruins. (Psalm 89:40)

From our first chat Sammy and I knew we had something special, it may not be normal but with the Lord on our team we are able to make it work. Since He is the foundation we are building on we can love one another and others like we should. Starting from first contact we will be continuing our story and together with my wife we will roll into the present. During the two years we were not communicating I lost my brother and kind of gave up on finding a girlfriend for a while. Sammy was busy going to school and trying to become a teacher so she had little time for chasing boys online. I also had some uncertainties about my health when I got down to 105 pounds. I did start seeking a relationship after about a year but was really just going through the motions to pass time and possibly ease some of the emptiness I felt after losing my brother. Sammy had also lost her mom a few years before Joe passed and was very unsure that she’d ever have a relationship or get married. During that time I communicated with a few girls but after an email or two and maybe a couple chats they seemed to fade away. Before losing Joe I had been getting over a previous relationship that went bad and ended too soon I thought at the time. These two losses back to back in a way made me afraid to love anyone because of the pain I went through physically and mentally from losing two of my loved ones. This caused me to build a wall around my heart so no one could get much further than a couple conversations without me hiding behind it and giving up on it until they moved on. I did go on one slightly awkward date when I started getting out of the house and pursuing life again. It didn’t work out because we never discussed taking it to the next level and we had differing schedules. I talked about meeting another girl after that but we also could never match up our schedules and she was scared of my disability. The wall I built had something to do with these relationships not working either. Now I know ultimately they didn’t work because someone very special to me was waiting to send me more questions at just the right time.

On November 19, 2013 I was on eHarmony for another trial weekend and there were essay questions from Sammy. I answered her right away and asked her some questions. She responded with some simple sweet answers. We never sent eHarmony mail because I left my email in the answers to her questions. Shortly after that I got a friend request on Facebook and we started talking on there. Like I said before we had no idea both of us were in wheelchairs so that was a surprise. I had thought about dating another disabled person because we would understand each other but Sammy always thought that would be too much extra stress. I was delighted when I saw Sammy for the first time I could tell she had the ability to light up a room. Her smile was contagious to me and it gave me feelings I had forgotten how to use. I was kind of scared to open up to her but at the same time I was completely helpless and was falling for her. I saw a story of a man whose girlfriend still married him after he suffered a major brain injury. She was sweet and I wanted to find a love like that. When I started talking to Sammy the wall I built around my heart was crumbling quickly. In a similar way the Lord wants to tear down the walls we’ve built around our hearts that still separate us from Him (Is. 25:12). We have been engraved in the palms of His hands. He sees the walls that we’ve built and only He can turn them to dust (Is. 49:16). When we accept the Lord in lives the spirit turns our heart of stone into a heart of flesh. We will be moved by the Spirit to do what is right by following what the Lord commanded us to do (Ez. 36:26-27).  Sammy and I believe that the Lord brought us together after many years of prayer and failed relationships. The Lord destroyed the wall I built so that he could bless me with the contagious smile that brought light back into my life.

Lord help us to understand that people come in and out of our lives for many reasons. We have no control when someone walks out on us or if they graduate to heaven. Help us God when hard times come not to put up a wall or let our heart be hardened. Hardship is only for a season but blessings will come if we will let Him turn our walls of negativity into ruins. Lord help us so that your Spirit can create in us a heart of flesh so that we can hear the Lord and properly follow Him. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, Facebook and Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

 
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Posted by on 01/09/2018 in Torches

 

Tuesdays Torch week 465

Tuesday’s Torch

01/02/18

By: Tim Sader

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22)

After the loss of my brother it took a while to get my mind and body to where I was ready to enjoy my life again. About two years later our van got smashed up and we needed a new one. My friend Julie helped make this happen when she planned a benefit to help us raise the money for a van. The love that God showed that year was incredible I can hardly believe it when I think about it. Getting a new van opened up a world of possibilities because we could safely travel longer distances than before. At the end of 2013 I was using eharmony and Samantha H. finally responded to my first questions after a few years. We quickly asked our own second questions and her responses really got my attention. What I remember most is that she knew the Lord and wanted me to know about the church she attends and what it means to her. Since I wasn’t a paying member I wanted her to be able to contact me off of eharmony so we exchanged emails and found eachother on facebook. To my surprise she was in a wheelchair like me and she was equally amazed to see I was disabled also. Neither of us ever considered dating another disabled person because it is difficult enough to start a relationship with only one person disabled. At the beginning of 2014 we both got someone to bring us to Columbia, SC the halfway point an hour and a half from both of us. We had pizza at Mellow Mushroom and we knew we would be more to us than we could dream of at that time. For Valentine’s Day I left my house after a rare snow storm to go see her three hours away in Summerville, SC. We did a few more dates in Columbia but those were never enough so mom and me made monthly trips for sometimes a week at a time so we could make long distance work. One time I surprised her when I rode three hours to go to the concert she was at. After thinking her friend was taking her out for the day I surprised her again at that coffee shop when I proposed to her there six months later in front of her family and friends.

I knew for a while before asking Sammy to marry me that I wanted to but since we were disabled I didn’t know how it would work or who would take care of us. After a few dates we noticed that nothing was normal about our relationship and that was what makes us beautiful. Later at Sammy’s church pastor Jenn preached a message that we don’t want to be what is normal so we will be alright. One of the most difficult parts of us getting married and moving to Charleston was leaving MorningStar church in Fort Mill. The Lord helped me by showing me unity between them and Ashley Ridge Church. Three times the same song would be played at one church or the other on the next Sunday after I heard it. I received words, heard similar messages at both churches and even a book I read came up in one of pastor Jenn’s sermons. I heard a message from Justin Perry about him and his wife being in a long distance relationship before getting married. They made it work and were twice as far from eachother as Sammy and I were of course neither of us drive so that’s an added person in the equation. All these were confirmation to me that I found what is good for me when I found my wife and the favor of the Lord is upon us. My friend Cliff gave me a word that Sammy and I are the two bottom corners of a triangle and the top point is the Lord, we are a team and He will be with us if we keep Him in it. No one can lay any foundation except for the one that has been laid, which is Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 3:11). If Jesus is our foundation then then our love for one another will be patient, kind, not envious, boastful, proud, disrespectful, selfish, angry or keeping score. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails but if we fail to love the gifts of the Spirit will not properly function (1 Cor. 13:4-8). Love has never failed for Sammy and me because we were married on April 11, 2015. We found a way to make not normal work for us thanks to supportive parents, our aides and Ashley Ridge Church family. Alone we can do very little but together we can do so much.

Lord I pray that 2018 will be the year we realize that life is all about you loving us, us loving you and loving others. If you have been less than our foundation Lord we invite you onto our team so that we can know that you are always with us. Help us to learn better love by loving the people better who we are closest to or by showing love to who we think is unlovable. Those who may be looking for a someday spouse I pray that steps will be taken in the right direction so they will be ready when they find who is good for them. In Jesus name, Amen.

Tuesdays Torch has been viewed in countries all across the globe through our website and social media. We pray the words of every Torch will sink into the hearts and minds of readers. Please share Tuesdays Torch and encourage others with it. To partner with Tuesdays Torch and help expand our reach please contact us. We pray the Lord will touch our readers. All of what Christ did was so we would believe. He told us not to believe because of what He said but in what He did (John 14:11). Every Tuesday we talk about what He did and is still doing. The best thing God’s done is send His Son so we could be saved (John 3:16). If anyone is not a believer we pray they will invite the Lord into their lives by asking Him to forgive their sins and believing that He is the Son of God. Please share testimonies, feedback or encouraging words by email at: tuesdaystorch@gmail.com we enjoy hearing from you. Look out for next Tuesdays Torch on our website http://www.tuesdaystorch.com , by email, on Facebook as Tuesdays Torch or Twitter @tuesdaystorch Thanks and God Bless!

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

 
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Posted by on 01/02/2018 in Torches